The Achievable Love

•July 19, 2010 • Leave a Comment

We were born for something more than any of us are capable of comprehending.  We were born needing love, needing nurture, and needing a mommy.  This predestination shapes us all from the moment of conception.  We spend 9 months inside our mothers womb growing, being cared for, and being nurtured.  From that point on, there are two things that can and may stay consistent to some of us until death: 1. We are all built to be in relationship and 2. We are dependent on someone else from the time we are conceived.

When is the point of independence?  Is independence even achievable, or is it just a shift in who we are dependent on?  Our relationships are living proof of both of these things.  As humans we get into abusive, co-dependent relationships just so we don’t have to be alone.  We surround ourselves with people that we can barely stand for the same reason.  So the question is—When did being alone become so bad?

I have lived my entire life searching for relationship. Longing for someone to love me for me at my lowest low.  I have longed for someone I can be unapologetically and unworriedly vulnerable with.  Does that person exist?  That is where God steps in.  He wants to be in constant relationship with us.

That sounds good and all, but what does that even look like?  The world has made God into more of a mystical creature than an omnipresent, omnipotent being.  We have such a hard time comprehending the fact that God is at the very base, love, and that he just wants to spend time with us.

We all have our different reasons, but I think it is both extremely comforting and absolutely terrifying to each of us. that God loves us.  I sometimes feel incapable of being loved.  My insecurities eat away at me until there is nothing left but a scared little boy.

The bible tells us that in our weakness He is made strong.    That concept blows my mind.  God loves me enough to walk me through my lowest lows and through my darkest hours.  He waits our whole lives for the one moment we decide that we can’t do life without Him, and then makes it aware to us that he has not only loved us the whole time, but has been fighting for us too.

The concept that God is with me all the time is difficult for me to comprehend.  I don’t know if I want God with me all the time.  I know that sounds bad, but the thought of God being in the corner while I am changing my underwear kind of freaks me out.  I know he created me, every part of me, but the thought still weirds me out for some reason.  Why does the thought of constant relationship scare me?  Why does venerability scare me, when I know that is what I want more than anything?

As humans, we run from God because the thought of being bound by rules and regulations is no fun.  I for one am glad that relationship with Jesus doesn’t have anything to do with rules and regulations.  I have never been good with authority.

Flood Relief

•May 4, 2010 • Leave a Comment

For those of you looking for a place to volunteer with the flood relief efforts please contact Christ Church Nashville.  They have teams out today and will continue to send teams out every day over the next few weeks.  You can contact the church at 615.834.6171.  They will tell you exactly where you can volunteer ASAP.  Feel free to email me as well at

First day of YWAM

•September 21, 2009 • Leave a Comment

I have arrived here in Montana.  It was a long day of travel and getting situated.  It is gorgeous here!  I am going to be blogging daily through my adventure here.  I cant wait to see what God has to show me during this time.  I will give you a more detailed account tomorrow.  Tonight, I am hecka tired.  Going to bed now.  Peace and Love.

New Adventure

•August 11, 2009 • Leave a Comment

I have really been thinking about ways to make this blog most useful during this time of growth in my life.  I am about to embark on an incredible adventure of service.  For those of you who have asked questions, I am doing a DTS (Decipleship Training School) through YWAM (Youth With A Mission).   The first part of my adventure will be spent in montana going to school.  The base is in Lakeside.  It is an old airforce base.  This is a time of intense learning.  I am so excited to see what God has for me during this season of my life. My DTS has a focus on art and worship.

The second part of my adventure will be spent doing an outreach somewhere in the world.  Could be anywhere from Thailand to Nepal to Brazil.  I will find out after the first week in Montana where my team will be going.  I get to go work with kids and use my musical and artistic abilities.  I so excited.

I have been thinking about how I can keep the best journal and how I can really capture my experience.  I figure twitter and my blog will be the easiest way for people to keep up with what I am doing.  I want to get other people who are going through this experince with me  to guest blog for me so we can get as many perpectives as possible and so people can see the big picture.

I am so excited for this opportunity to go serve, learn and grow.  Please keep me in your thoughts in prayers, as I have many things to accomplish before I leave.  I love all of you and thank you for your support.

Montana bound!

•August 9, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Big news guys! I recieved a call in Friday informing me that I had been accepted to YWAM Montana. I will be doing a DTS starting September 21st. I have been praying so much about this guys. I know without a doubt this is what God has for me. Please keep me in your prayers. I need to raise a lot of money in a little amount of time. I’m so excited to go where many of my Narrowgate brothers have gone before me. Time to do some mission work!

Speak Softly

•August 5, 2009 • Leave a Comment

A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger. (Proverbs 15:1)

This verse always gets me. You guys all know me, and know I can be a little testy at times. Aggressive speaking is still one of my biggest struggles. I can be sarcastic and downright rude at times. That does absolutely nothing for my witness. Actually, It harms it. Sarcasm has become such the norm in our culture. We make ourselves feel strong by belittling other people. I do it on a daily basis. I let my insecurities get the best of me, quite often. I use words to hurt instead of using them to build people up. Every day it is a constant struggle for me.

Psalm 35:28 says ” And my tongue shall speak of Your righteousness and of Your praise all the day long.” All day we are called to speak of Gods righteousness. When I’m blasting someone else for being an idiot, I’m not doing a very good job of that. That shows nothing about how good God has been to me. That doesn’t speak well of my transformation at all. We all have to opportunity to be the hands, feet and MOUTH of Jesus Christ. I don’t do a very good job of that sometimes. Words can make or break a nation. Words can get people involved or get people to detach. Words can save and words can kill. Be the mouth of Jesus.

Allow him to speak through you. Prayerfully go through your day. Focus on being the mouthpiece of God. Amazing things will happen through you, I can guarantee it.

Monday Thoughts……

•July 27, 2009 • Leave a Comment

28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.-Romans 8:28

The past few months have been filled with many ups and downs for me.  I have experienced times filled with great joy but also great sorrows.  When I first became a Christian, I thought this verse was crap.  How could ALL THINGS work together for good?  I couldn’t believe that ALL the terrible things that happened to good people could work together for good.  Sounded like a load of hippy crap to me.  Oh was I wrong.  This verse is thrown out a lot in “feel good” sermons.  Well I challenge you to keep reading.

29 For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. 30 Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified.

Holy crap.  That is some good stuff right there!  We were Predestined to be CONFORMED to the IMAGE OF HIS SON.  We are saints, baby!  Not only were we made in the image of Christ, we were also called, justified, and glorified.  Pretty much, what is being said here is you were CALLED.  If we follow that calling, we are justified (to show (an act, claim, statement, etc.) to be just or right).  Not only are we justified, we are also glorified. Glorify-to cause to be or treat as being more splendid, excellent, etc., than would normally be considered. So because if we are doing his will for our lives, loving God, and serving others, then he is going to work ALL things together for good.  So no matter what crap comes your way, he is going to somehow work it out for the better.  That doesn’t say that things wont hurt you, and that you wont feel defeated from time to time, but it should give you serious hope.  We should be able to find rest in the fact that, even if we dont understand what is going on in our lives at the time, God has a plan for us.

Now for the tough part.  If we are walking apart from God, and not carrying out his calling on our lives, then he isnt going to work all things together for good.  It says “for those who love God”.  It doesnt say, for anyone and everyone.  Sounds like a pretty good deal to me.  We are called as Christians to surrender our lives.  “Our lives” are now dead.  It isnt about what we want for ourselves, it is about what He wants for us.  His plan, not ours.  Most of us know that how difficult it can be waiting on Gods timing.  We are impatent people, but His plan is always a million times better than what we could ever plan for ourselves.  We can find REAL HOPE in Romans 8:28.  A hope that the world will not understand.  A peace that the world will not understand.  A peace that allows you to remain calm in adversity and trails, because we KNOW the truth. We know that God will work all things together for good.  If you are going through rough times, seek God and then sit back, relax and enjoy the ride.  Doors will open, prayers will be answered, and He will provide.